Our embryos were thawed today, and they were hoping to have three great eggs. None survived. None. None. That was our last shot at IVF- my insurance won't cover anything else.
Needless to say, I am devastated beyond words. I holed myself up in a vacant office and cried for an hour, Isaac had to leave work to come be with me. I feel hopeless.
When I got back to my desk, a new email popped up:
Waiting for God's Timetable
"Elder Neal A. Maxwell linked patience and faith together when he taught: 'Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best--better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His'. We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and pattern to unfold in our lives, on His timetable." -Robert C. Oaks
So there you have it. But I still hate today (and maybe the next few weeks).
19 comments:
I'm so sorry! I know there isn't much I can say to make you feel better. But I'm thinking about you and you are in my prayers.
Sara, I'm so so sorry. I hate today for you too. : (
oh sara. dang dang it. i'm so sorry and def hate today too. i don't think you're being "unduly" impatient. i will have to come bring you a treat. lots of love.
I'm so sorry Sara! Your post made me feel like I need to go into an empty room and cry too! I love you!
Sara- I am so so sorry. I'm crying for you too! I think you are one of the most amazing people I know. You'll be blessed. Lots of love
oh, i am so sorry you two. that sucks, and i hate today too.
Oh, you guys- I am so so sorry. I kindof know how you feel. We tried for a long time before we got Ben and I've always (except for this time) taken clomid. I remember the disappointment and the feeling that it would never happen. I never had it as bad as you though. I only had to wait two years. Now people look at me and think I'm crazy because I have six. Be patient, know that so many people love you, and we are all praying for you. I wish I was there to give you a hug. Sara, have Isaac give you one, and Isaac have Sara give you one and pretend they are from me.
(p.s. Sara sorry about the picture on my blog. I think it's cute. I'd take it off, but everyone has already seen it.)
WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!Don't forget!
-Michelle and fam
I don't know what to say except I am so sorry. PLEASE let me know if you need anything...like even just someone to talk to.
Oh, Sara, my heart goes out to you. Go ahead and hate the day, the week, the month, and the year, I think you deserve to! I love you and we are praying for you guys.
Sara-
I'm so sorry to hear about that. I don't blame you for hating today, or tomorrow, or the next month. I'll be thinking about you.
I hate today too! You are such a cute couple it'll happen and when it does this day will fall back a some deep memory far away. You're going to be a couple of amazing parents soon!
I meant fall back as...
Sara...no words can tell you how sorry we are. No words I say can make you feel better right now. Just know that we love you. We hate today too.
January 23rd....
"National we hate today" , day.
Kati
bean-brain. now i am not going to say much, because talking about you and pregnancy and girl-stuff is something i will not do. sorry that things suck. if it makes you feel any better, i haven't gotten pregnant yet either. so let's drink away our sadness together. love ya, take care, god bless, adieu to you and you and you, ga-zoon-tite. by the way, kati(the girl that i live with)and myself would like to come out there for a few days and have you tour us around. what do you think the best time would be to do this (fall,spring, tomorrow evening, etc...) hear from you soon. matprice@utah.gov
sara! i read your blog yesterday and then had a dream about you guys last night, and in it i gave you a huge hug. i'm so sorry that you're going through such a hard time right now. :( i can't say i know exactly how you feel, but i have experienced a miscarriage before and i know the heartbreak that it brings. know that we are thinking of you guys and that you are in our prayers.
Sara - for lack of a better phrase... I'm hurting for you and Isaac. And for what it's worth, even while I was reading your post I felt peace in my heart. I KNOW you will be blessed with little children. There's not a doubt in my mind. I don't know why things happen the way they do, but your time will come. (as if you need me to tell you that right?). hang in there girl.
Sara....I think it is
mattprice@utah.gov
I will give him your email when he wakes up...
Kati
We love you guys! Let us know if we can do anything for you. You are in our prayers.
DANG IT!!!!!!!!!! I was wanting to ask you.... I'm sorry it didn't work, and insurance sucks. Patience is so so so hard. Hang in there!
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