goodbye, little buddy

Last month we had to say goodbye to our little buddy, Daxter. The day started off typical enough, but Dax started acting a little strange and was pacing back and forth a lot. Early that afternoon he had a few small seizures, and then a pretty large one. I was freaking out (of course) and made Isaac come home from work. We took Dax to the vet and they ran a few tests on him, but he was seizure-free while at the office and there really wasn't much they could do without sending him to the doggy neurolgist for a brain scan. We took him home, went to the park, had a nice rest of the day and evening, and he was totally fine. I kept hoping that it was a one-time random thing and he'd be just fine.

Around 10pm that night he had another long seizure that lasted about 10 minutes, but seemed like an eternity. At 11pm he went into a seizure that he never pulled out of. We rushed him to the animal hospital where they attempted to stabalize him, but even with the medication he was still seizing. Around 12:30am we made the decision to put him down. Oh, it was a tough night.

The vet was so nice with Hazel, they let her stay up at the front desk and 'help' while we were in the back room saying goodbye to Dax. Hazel didn't understand why Dax wasn't coming home with us, but for the next few days she was really quite fine with it (while I was a weeping mess). About a week later she realized that Dax was really gone, and she kept asking- and still asks- when Dax can finally be resurrected. She is quite impatient for this, and wants him back NOW so she can play with him. She's had quite a few crying spells, saying "I'm crying because I miss Dax!". She also still talks about him every single day.

I had a really hard time with all of this. Dax filled such a hole for me during all those years of longing for a baby. I miss his licking, burrowing under the covers, kicking me off my pillow, cleaning up the floor (I have to sweep every day now- what!) his running around the house, and just having him with us wherever we went. He was such a good little buddy (as Hazel called him).

 

A few days after he died, we went to the beach and had a little funeral for him. We all talked about our favorite memories of Daxter and then released black and white balloons into the sky. Hazel keeps wanting to throw more things into the sky- like bones, his leash, etc.- so that he can have them in Heaven.

I was so touched by the kindness from others upon his passing. He was just a little black and white doggy, not very good at tricks and pretty lazy, but I was amazed at how he had touched people's lives. We received so many notes and messages about favorite memories or ways that Dax influenced their lives. Kind of amazing!

We miss you, Dax Attack, we hope you are having fun in Heaven!